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How to Know He Doesn’t Love You

Here’s the deal. If you are a western man coming to the Philippines because you’re looking for a younger ‘fresh’ partner you must understand that the expenses will fall almost squarely on your shoulders.

The average Pinoy salary is about $250 a month so even the most sincere Pinoy just wouldn’t be able to share the expenses 50/50. It never ceases to amaze me how many guys come here and then complain because they always have to flip the bill.

Straight men seem to understand the dynamic but for some reason, some gay men have a very hard time accepting that if they want a younger fresh love that they’re gonna to have to shoulder th expenses.

If you’re barely making it and can’t afford to support another person then you have no business courting a Filipino. 

HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean you should allow yourself to be taken advantage of.  A good Filipino will not ask for money right away AND will do everything on his end to make the relationship equitable.

In my last relationship, I bought my ex a laptop, a smartphone, and took him on trips. All paid for by me. That being said he cooked, cleaned, and ironed my clothes. He never let me go out of the house with wrinkled clothes on.

A lot of Pinoy/Foreign relationships look like this.

A Pinoy/Foreign relationship to avoid:

  1. The Pinoy is always having a financial emergency
  2. When you’re doing it he just lays there allowing it to happen
  3. He just has a sense of entitlement to your money just because he’s sleeping with you

Now some guys don’t mind a princesses. I was speaking a friend and I asked him why he’s still with this guy when its obvious he wants to be treated like a princess. He responded that his ass feels really good and he’s friends think the Filipino is hot. To me that’s sad but for him that was enough.

However most foreign guys aren’t like that. I know I’m not. I’d take a 30 year old that was humble ANY day of the week over a 22 year old who expects to be treated like a princess.

While yes Filipinos have a well deserved reputation for their hospitality there are some things that a new foreign guy needs to know prior to setting roots here.  This article will focus mainly on the romantic aspects of living in this great nation.

Too often I see guys getting a broken heart and an empty wallet. They just can’t deal with being ignored to being a virtual celebrity in a mature way.

To this day I see guys with these youngsters and its clear to everyone except him that the relationship is nothing more than a monetary transaction.

So without further ado here are the signs that your ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t really love you

He declared his love before he even met you! You’d think this is obvious that a person declaring love so soon is a sign on insincerity but sadly guys seem to fall for this over and over.

He doesn’t love you if he won’t have sex with you We’re all men right? Filipino, Black, Jew, Asian, whatever. Men are sexual beings and sex is one of the primary ways men express their love for one another. Minus some serious health problem a young man making excuses to not have sex is never a good sign. I was talking to a fellow expat who told me he wasn’t sure if his Filipino was for real or not. I asked him how often they had sex.

He told me “well every once in awhile I’ll get lucky” WTF?! Get lucky?! What is this 11th grade?!

Sex with your partner shouldn’t be described as ‘getting lucky’ in any relationship but even more so amongst two men! A gay relationship that doesn’t have sex on an at least somewhat regular basis isn’t a good relationship (again minus health concerns).

Going further down the sex road who always initiates? You or him? Does he treat sex with you like a chore? Does he just tolerate you on top of him or does he love it?  Passion fades over time but if its always been that way chances are he doesn’t love you! 

He doesn’t love you if doesn’t desire to make you happy A Filipino in love will go out of his way to please his partner. You see lady boys with these straight guys. They will move heaven and Earth to make that guy happy.


Because he/she actually loves him!

When you go on trips does he offer to stand in line and tell you to sit down? Does he try to rearrange your furniture (that’s a biggie for bottoms they love to mark their territory by rearranging your apartment).

If when you’re traveling with him he’s just aloof and just accepting all the freebies you’re offering to him then you’ve got a gold digger my friend.

He doesn’t love you if he’s always asking for money I get it. You know you’re in a poor country and you understand that an intergenerational relationship involves money more often than not.

Don’t get me wrong it’s okay to help your partner. In fact, that’s what partners do they help each other. Keyword each other!

Help is one thing but constantly asking for money is quite another.

In addition, is he tying his monetary requests to sex? Like he always seems to have a really good reason not to put out but then when you’re about to give him the money he’s no longer too busy or too tired?

If that’s the case then you’ve got a gold digger, my friend.

Seriously speaking

Really though I think most guys know when their partner doesn’t really love them. They just choose to ignore the signs for reasons of convenience. You’ll never convince me that a guy who’s boyfriend won’t put out unless he’s had half a bottle of tequila has no idea there is no love.

The real issue is I think many of these guys are quite frankly desperate and in need of spiritual healing.


  1. Keith Rogers

    The problem for me is,that 90% of the guys I’ve encountered on dating sites do ask for money before I’ve even met or webcammed them.It’s like an epidemic.
    And yes one at the moment told me loved me from.the start, but hasn’t asked for money. ….yet.Are there any financially self sufficient pinoys where miney isn’t an issue,who woukd still be interested in meeting a western guy and moving here?

    • Reyn

      The average salary in the Philippines is less than a days pay for the average American worker – $250 per MONTH? Who are you kidding? I’m American and have a Pinoy boyfriend who I love very much and who does love me. I am still stunned by this. He wants to come here to Uni. I can afford that. So I am bringing him here. He has never asked for money, although I have sent him money. His family is middle class and in Cebu (the Jewel of the South) his family approve of me and his sister is married to an American man and lives on the other coast here. What sort of dick would I be to expect him to have money??? I send him money once every couple of months, so that he has some. He works so hard taking care of his mother’s farm (his father is deceased) and he wants to be a veterinarian. I would never begrudge him anything I can give, but that is because I love him. And yes, sometimes we cam. He would rather it is more than our schedules and my work permit – but we text ALL THE TIME. And I have worried that he would not be happy here – but he is sure he will and I’ve been assured he will, so next fall he will come here. He is adorable – and I guess I don’t understand a westerner from a rich country not understanding that these are a poor but deeply good people, and that if you love one of them and they love you – money should not be an issue.

      Kind thoughts.

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