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Re:‘You’re too skinny’: Body-shaming in the gay community works both ways

When’s the last time you’ve seen ‘no skinnies’ on grindr? This is a response to the article written by Graham Gremore on Mr. Gremore is asserting that skinny guys have it just as hard as larger men in the gay community. I strongly feel that the author is misinformed.

Exhibit A:

This young man is quite skinny and also has no problem talking about what he doesn’t want. This doesn’t seem like someone who’s not getting a lot of attention to me.  Personally I have seen skinny guys showing off their bodies as if they have accomplished something all the time.

In reference to the young man who is 5’8 and 114 in the article. Here is a BMI chart for a health weight range for an adult male.

Health Discovery BMI Chart

Height in Feet&Inches Small Frame Medium Frame Large Frame
5’2″ 128-134 131-141 138-150
5’3″ 130-136 133-143 140-153
5’4″ 132-138 135-145 142-156
5’5″ 134-140 137-148 144-160
5’6″ 136-142 139-151 146-164
5’7″ 138-145 142-154 149-168
5’8″ 140-148 145-157 152-172
5’9″ 142-151 151-163 155-176
5’10” 144-154 151-163 158-180
5’11” 146-157 154-166 161-184
6’0″ 149-160 157-170 164-188
6’1″ 152-164 160-174 168-192
6’2″ 155-168 165-178 172-197
6’3″ 158-172 167-182 176-202
6’4″ 162-176 171-187 181-207

As we can see a weight 114 is not healthy for an adult man even with a small frame. His family is simply is not trying to ‘shame’ him by advising to gain weight. They are simply trying to help him. This young man really does need to change or he could have serious medical complications including death.
[wp_ad_camp_1] Exhibit B:

Lets be honest how many times do we see profiles like these?  According to a study “… out of 215 gay men, age 18 to 78, over one third of them had directly experienced antifat bias, even though most of them were not overweight using common body mass index guidelines. These men also reported that the most common form of antifat bias they received was from potential romantic partners…”Study People like what they like. Some people express their preferences in a more educated and diplomatic way than others but you’ll never shame them into dating someone they don’t want to date.


This ‘shaming’ paradigm has got to stop. We have ‘fat shaming’ ,’bareback shaming’, ‘slut shaming’ and many many more. We all have preferences which may cause someone who is interested in us to be rejected. I’m not denying those preferences are associated with cultural norms but trying to guilt someone into dating someone that they’re not into isn’t good for anyone.


The original article can be found here

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