A question I get from a lot of western men trying to find a partner abroad is that the guys they meet keep asking for money. I understand your pain but not to worry. There are ways you can prevent that from happening altogether. But first, let’s talk about why they’re asking for money. The most important thing you need to understand is that is dating a two-way street. Just like you’re sizing them up they’re also evaluating you!
Why Do They Always Ask For Money?!
These are some questions you should be asking yourself if you’re constantly getting requests for money from young men overseas.
First, ask yourself what you’re going after. If you’re only pursuing masculine, handsome, tops with a big d**** keep in mind those guys are the caviar of the gay dating buffett. They have tons of guys throwing themselves at them on a daily basis, therefore, those can be very choosey. Whether it’s right or it’s wrong that’s the reality.
The good news is not all masculine, handsome tops are like that. When meeting a guy its important to evaluate his attitude. If he’s telling you how hot he is and that he has a lot of options, he’s telling you that he expects you to win him over. Usually, he wants you to win him over with money and/or gifts or both.
Second, you should ask yourself if you are sexualizing it too soon. Asking him for dirty pics or how big is it is a red flag for most of these guys abroad. Remember, they have assets to protect too. While they’re not worried about being scammed for money they do want to make sure they’re not being used as a sex object by some old pervert who has no intention on giving them a better life.
The thing is it goes deeper than just asking for dirty pics. Even telling him how handsome he is could be a red flag for him. I recommend starting the conversation off with something about him other than a physical aspect. Ask him about a hobby or interest you read in his profile. Just like you want them to show you they’re not just after your money they want you to show them that you’re not just after their bodies. Most Filipinos are pretty conservative compared to western men. You may not realize it, but asking them for nude photos hurts them. Even if they do send you nude photos or do naughty video calls with you most of them don’t like it.
We must keep in mind the different cultural aspects here.
Third, ask yourself if you’re flaunting your wealth. Most of the guys you’ll be talking to will have significantly fewer resources than you do. Some guys think the only way they can get a young man to like them is by flaunting their wealth. Then they get upset when the young man starts asking for money. That’s the equivalent to a girl wearing a short skirt and then getting upset when men look at her. If you try to win them over with your wallet then you shouldn’t be surprised if that’s what attracts them to you.
I recommend you avoid promises of taking care of them and/or helping their families. Remember what I said earlier, they’re evaluating you as well! False promises are always a red flag. In gay international dating, you should consider keeping sex and money out of the conversation for a while, at least until you both get to know each other more. When I was dating my partner, other than checking compatibility, sex didn’t come up until about 4 months into the relationship. I really wanted to show him that I was for real. And guess what? My partner hass never asked me for money, not even once!
How to Avoid Requests for Money
As I said they’re evaluating you as well. So if you trip too many red flags they’ll stop taking the relationship seriously. That’s why you may have noticed if you ask for nudes or dirty video calls even if they agree to do it they start asking for money shortly thereafter. Why? Because in their minds you’ve already shown them you’re not serious about a relationship, therefore, they have nothing to lose from asking you for money.
Remember, when it comes to dating attitude is everything! The best way to avoid a bunch of sad stories that end in a request for money is to view and treat them as an equal. Sometimes we inadvertently treat them like they owe us something because we have so much more wealth than they do. In order for an international/inter-generational relationship to succeed both sides must see the other as equals despite large income and/or age differences. Both sides need to remember there’s a reason they’re seeking a partner so far away from them. Beauty fades and money gets spend. The most important aspect of a successful relationship is that you both respect each other.